what day is it and did you see me today?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
