Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
