so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
