Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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