They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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