i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
