she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
