If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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