Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
