I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
