nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
