i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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