he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
honey bunches of taint.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
