I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
