I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
