I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
