I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
