I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
