He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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