I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize