Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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