it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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