took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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