Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
