I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
