Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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