Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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