3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
