fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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