Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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