It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
