Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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