I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
