Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
