well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
