and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
