dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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