I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
