White coat. Heels.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
