I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is the high leading the old right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
