508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This is the high leading the old right now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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