I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
