you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
