Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
