weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize