Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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