So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
