is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
