Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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