Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
