Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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