She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
