walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
