i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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