so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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