Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
