There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
