If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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