I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
