the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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