My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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