also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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